it's just that you can't do anything perfectly.

i was frustrated again. on how we are becoming really uncomfortable with the dancing. but i need to make him sleep and dream. i was frustrated and tired. but i had enough love. i made him sleep and dream.

my frustration (or Basquiat-inspired erik who came up to me) led me to remember her again and be moved by her thoughts -- on raising up children.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Agnes Martin: It's just that you can't do anything perfectly. Anything. You can't bring up children perfectly.

Joan Simon: Your grandfather, with whom you lived for a time as a youngster, sounds like an exception.

AM: He tried to be a good man. He believed in not interfering with children. He didn't talk to them. But you knew that he liked you. He never criticized or made suggestions. You led a free life.

JS: Did he lead by his example? By what he did in his life?

AM: No. As a matter of fact, my grandfather believed that God looked after children. And that it was none of his business. Anyway, it made for a good life, I can tell you. Freedom.

JS: Freedom, as a kid, to do what?

AM: Freedom from criticism, from suggestions. That really made for freedom. I mean he didn't even correct little children. He believed in children expressing their own potential.

JS: Was your mother like your grandfather?

AM: Yes, my mother followed his example. Anyone looking on would have thought she was indifferent. But she really believed in noninterference.

JS: She also supported the family.

AM: She redid houses and sold them. She brought up four children, although she was small.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

that line hit me: "although she was small". and now, i'll be fine. :)