Waiting is good. It makes you think of those times where nothing seems to fit in one scoop of "now" or "the present" and then you realize those panic attacks are just making you jump just because.
After having experienced two nights at the labor room, praying and hoping our BabyManghud won't come out a preterm baby, I am taking one day at a time. Each day is a big blessing to us. And I am very proud to have one strong little dweller, agreeing that at least we'll wait and hang on to the day PapaGoy comes home - he will be 38weeks old, a full term baby.
Despite having this blessing, I still can't drop the guilt: of not being able to physically care for my 2yo, of missing the fun being together. I miss him terribly but there is only so much that I can do. What kind of mother am I? But I know this is only temporary and that things will be better for our family sooner than I think. As long as I keep my sanity and delete all negative emotions...
Hang in there puddings :)
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