what makes a family

We love hanging out in our backyard and just enjoy the cool morning breeze. My 2.5yo can be busy collecting stones or munching his morning snack or running around playing chase while my little 3mo sunshine can observe his brother or sleep like an angel in our local hammock or outdoor duyan. If I'm lucky at some days I can catch him in my camera chasing dreams in his sweet sleepy smile. 

These are my babies - the sole key of our happiness in the family - whom I am beyond-lifetime proud. They are not pefect beings and they can crush my heart unintentionally but that's what I love about them. They come crashing into me like thunder and I can only give my sweet surrender. At times I hear myself cry in frustration and hopes of me doing more for them. But truth is, I can only give myself. And I am a bit scared that I might never be enough. I am just their mother.

I have decided to not have another baby, even if people are begging me to have "one more, a baby girl this time". Well if it were as easy as laying eggs, why bring it on! People often misjudge couples who settle for one, or a dozen, or decide not to have a baby at all. What makes a family anyway? Is it the number of children you have or how well you do as parents? Is it the place you come home to or is it how complete your family is?

Raising my boys alone - physically - is a hard game. Having my husband work abroad is the biggest sacrifice we've been in so far. Yet, everyday we become stronger and our bonding has been twice thicker than yesterday. Because we know that this is only temporary and hopefully next year, we will be together in Dubai again. I know we are still young in this children-parents relationship and there are tons of things yet to be experienced and learned. That's ok, each day is yet another adventure and we just can't wait.